I’ve had a miscarriage. How could you be so insensitive?

Vote Life defends use of images for women grieving miscarriage

6/29/20242 min read

As part of the Vote Life campaign, we have delivered over 1 million postcards into homes, containing images of babies growing in the womb at various stages between 6-10 weeks gestation from fertilisation*.

In doing this, we are aware that for a small but significant proportion of recipients, the images might be upsetting due to a previous miscarriage or issues around infertility. If you have had a miscarriage, we empathise compassionately with the pain you have endured and we are sorry for your loss. We recognise miscarriage affects 1 in 4 pregnancies in the UK and is often incredibly painful for women and their partners. In the words of one testimonial on the Miscarriage Association website, miscarriage is “probably the saddest, most gut-wrenching moment in my life.”

At Vote Life, we recognise that this loss can have a lifelong emotional impact on women, especially if the premature death of that child is not mourned properly in private, publicly or with the help of support groups. If you are still hurting from a previous miscarriage or multiple miscarriages, we recommend and commend the work of an independent organisation named Misposa Trust. We also welcome the government's decision earlier this year to allow certificates for babies lost to miscarriage, this grief doesn't need to be hidden.

This said Vote Life believes the use of our images can be morally justified for the following reason. Without minimising this pain for a moment, we must be brave and ask the following question: why is miscarriage so painful?

If we are to believe that unborn babies are just a “blob of cells” or a collection of “pregnancy tissue,” then losing a “pregnancy” should be no more emotionally difficult than losing one's appendix or tonsils. The reality, however, is that an unborn child is not simply tissue but rather a whole and valuable human being. This is the reality that this was another human being, a precious individual, a much loved child. If this is the depth of feeling we as people feel about a miscarriage, which is normally no one's fault, just think how painful abortion is.

We are delighted to see more and more initiatives popping up enabling parents of miscarried children to openly and unashamedly grieve the loss of their child and receive help, healing, and recognition for this loss. However, for the 1 in 4 pregnancies also ending in abortion, very little support is available. Instead, women, because they have supposedly “chosen” to end the life of their baby, are forced to grieve in silence and contend alone with the “guilt,” “sadness,” and “despair” that often accompanies that decision. The abortion industry is not committed to their long-term health and well-being, and we as a society aren’t talking about it, which makes matters worse. These images however humanise the babies in the womb can save their lives through informing the woman's decision.

Therefore, we contend that the image of a 6-week unborn baby in the womb is not the problem. Indeed, others who have experienced a miscarriage have thanked us for showing them a version of this image and affirming the humanity of their child. Rather, the problem is a culture that, on the one hand, affirms the humanity of unborn children when they die tragically as a result of a miscarriage but simultaneously denies the humanity of the unborn child when they are intentionally killed by abortion.

Vote Life is committed to addressing this contradiction with truth and love. If you have any more questions, please contact info@votelife.co.uk

*Please note that Vote Life takes 100% responsibility for the coordination and delivery. Please do not direct

criticism towards the printer or Royal Mail who were simply doing their job